No game, no shame

Last night, my roommate, Julie, and I decided to make a Spec’s run after dinner. As we were checking out, I asked the clerk if I could sign-up for a rewards card (because let’s face it, I like my wine). This twenty-something guy handed me a form and said, “All we want is your name and number. I promise we won’t call you, although I might.”

At that moment, I realized I had about 30 seconds to decide whether or not I wanted to give this guy a chance. I continued to smile and write: “Rachel” Wait, what? Someone is hitting on me? This never happens to me. What do I do? “Fisher” Okay, Rachel, focus. How old do we think this guy is? Obviously, he has to be over 21, and I notice he’s got an Aggie Ring. So that’s good, right? It means he goes to college….or went to college….wait, I don’t want to possibly date a super-older guy…. “(713)-23…….” Time’s about up! You’re almost done filling out this damn form, so decide now if you want to risk him being a major creeper and give this dude a chance. But what am I supposed to do? Do I say something coy and flirty like, “Maybe you can call me, or maybe not.” Wait, that’s stupid. Do I write something straightforward on the form, like HERE YOU GO! That’s desperate, don’t do that…….Ahhhhh I hate this!! Time’s up. I hand back the form, say “thank you” as I collect my change, and walk out the door clutching my bottle of wine in frustration.

Julie and I get in the car and recap the whole scene. Being the great friend that she is, Julie reassures me that he was probably old and weird and that it was a good thing I didn’t make a move back. “But what if he wasn’t?” I ask. “What if he was a really nice guy who would’ve been fun to go on a date with?” We arrive back home and move on, joking about how I’ll have to go back to Spec’s every Saturday night until I come to a decision about the character of this employee.

As a single, young adult, it can be really hard navigating the dating world. Sure, you can hit it off with people instantaneously, but there are so many other factors that go into establishing a connection. I definitely identify myself as the type of person who “leaps without looking” under most circumstances, but when it comes to flirting, I get pretty shell-shocked. How do I convey that I appreciate the attention, but I’m not the type of person that can seduce a cashier in an instant?

The point of all this is just to say not everyone has game, and that’s okay. We live in a society of texting and social media, where everyone’s persona is manicured and mulled-over to create one’s desired image, free from flaws or hiccups. Sure, we post an unflattering photo here-and-there or send a message that maybe came off the wrong way, but all-in-all, Generation Y is a group of individuals that heavily meditates on their actions before making them.

So how do we jump into face-to-face, real time interaction? If you’re like me, you keep smiling and tell yourself you’ll do better next time. Unless of course he’s a major creeper, at which point I guess you’ll have to think on your toes.

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