Future Fearless Laughing

It’s been nearly two months since I’ve posted, and a lot has happened since then! I got the position of Chair in MSC OPAS, as well as an amazing internship for this summer and fall with AdventGX in Downtown Bryan, Texas. Life is better than I ever dreamed it could be, and, despite the large amount of stress and pressure I’m constantly dealing with, I couldn’t be happier.

Much of my time spent recently has been working on our OPAS Banquet, which finally came about Saturday night. After countless hours of planning, coordinating and organizing, banquet came and went, and I’m very proud of the final result. At the end of the program, the outgoing chair makes their remarks, followed by their successor, and this year, my beautiful best friend, Alex, gave one of the most eloquent and tear-inducing speeches I’ve heard. Today, over a bowl of queso, Alex and I, along with our other spectacular bestie, Jordan, recapped the whole evening, specifically Alex’s speech.

This prompted a discussion on change — how we deal with it, why it seems to be happening so quickly and what we feel about this imminent phenomenon known as “the future”. For each of us, we only have one more banquet; next year will not just be a farewell to the season but to OPAS as a whole. I explained to them that last night I think finally I realized this very scary thought when I was driving home because, all of a sudden, I started crying. Now, anyone who knows me knows that my emotions tend to indicate how I really feel before my brain has time to catch up (I have a very manipulative subconscious), so this anomaly didn’t surprise me one bit.

It hit me that in one very short year, I will be leaving this home I’ve created: my school, my organizations and above all, my friends. I think about how quickly college has flown by, and it is shocking to realize that at next year’s banquet, I will have to say my goodbyes. And that makes me sad.

But the beautiful thing about life is that it goes on. Yes, once I graduate, things will never be the same. But that doesn’t change the amount of love I feel for the family I have in OPAS or take away the incredible memories I’ve made. It simply means finding a different rhythm, going down a new path while still carrying these things with you.

I’ve never been one to love change, but I do see its worth. Without change, we would never value the things we leave behind. Moving on is painful and difficult, but it is during these seasons that we develop and grow, learning about ourselves and how our journeys have shaped us. I often go to one of my favorite Bible verses, which is Proverbs 3:25 (I like the NLT version, personally):

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

I used to think that verse meant she scoffed at fear (a la Simba), but now I realize it’s so much more than raising her nose to weakness. I believe that this woman of God is laughing out of pure excitement for the future. Her joy is overflowing, not simply succumbing to some form of anxiety or indifference. Change shouldn’t be something we just deal with, but rather we should embrace it, taking on every new adventure with a grain of salt.

I realize that all this is easier said than done because, despite my limited time, I do still have my entire senior year ahead of me. In the meantime, I will try to make the most out of every moment and laugh without fear, because the future is coming whether I want it to or not.

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